hater

Dear Me, Nothing Would Be Missed if You Died

Dear Me,

I have been putting more and more thought into this. What if I were dead? Would the drones of inspiring comedians give a fuck? No. But, why? Well because you’re a hater Ronald. You spend a lot of your day looking at other comedians’ stuff and silently shitting on it in your head.

You act like you are this all mighty comedian. You act like you’ve done something for the comedy community thus far. Thus far you’ve succeeded in getting an okay 5-10 minutes of comedy. How long has it been you flavorless fuck? It’s been going on 3-4 years. This disaster. This hate fueled rage.

Your podcast, which airs every week on whatever day you feel like it, is a turd that even if it were polished would still be a turd.

The thing that people who succeed hate the most isn’t haters. It’s other successful people. Why, because people who dwell on negativity all day get nowhere. They sit at home and do nothing. Correction… They do something. They hate. They click links, visit websites and watch YouTube videos of the people they hate.

Haters start conversations that begin with: “Do you know this douche bag?…” “This is the worst thing I’ve seen in a while…” “This has been done before, at least make it original…” “I’m better than this person…”

“I’m better than this person…” No. You fucking aren’t. You sit in the wings waiting for your turn. Your turn will never come. You have to get up and stand in line. You can’t walk past the line and say that everyone in line is a piece of shit. Earn your stripes, build your bridges, quit with the, “That’s not very good,” comments, smile and wave.

The hater spends so much time being uninspired by people who are inspiring, that they don’t utilize their time creating inspirations themselves. What have I left behind? A wake of dreadful regrets? Yes I have.

I finally figured out who would miss me, successful people and the government. Successful people would miss me because no one would obsess over their creations. The government would miss me because it’s one less person paying taxes. I would be missed. Unfortunately not by anyone I care about, like Milli Vanilli, MC Hammer, or ARod.

It’s time to be fascinated and inspired by others…