I will just apologize now. I hate yoga pants. I hear they’re comfortable. So are biking shorts but people don’t wear those to my daughter’s dance recital. So you think you have a nice ass and you want to share it with me? Well you are also sharing your stinky butt when a good breeze flows by. And don’t give me that I don’t poop bullshit because I grew up with a sister and I’ve dated a few girls. Your butts are like ours. If you don’t bidet your butt right after you get down there and give your toilet the business; your butt stinks, trust me. If you don’t believe me, ask your boyfriend.
When did yoga pants become okayed? All they are is spandex with a different name but with the same result. People who shouldn’t be wearing them do. Those people are and not limited to….everyone who wears yoga pants. No one should wear these pants. Sorry ladies but seeing the outline of where you poop from doesn’t do it for me.
The girls who are the most clueless about yoga pants are the ones who wear them so tight they go up their butt crack and I can see the imprint of their asshole. The pants that are so tight it looks like two mounds of mozzarella cheese in that tight plastic sitting beside an ant hill. Yeah what I said is gross. So is your asshole. I don’t want to see it. Last week I clearly offended a self-proclaimed “too pretty for you-ugh” girl when I explained this to her. I also told her that the only thing that should be blowing me kisses when they walk away is my girlfriend.
I was too god damn tired to write a blog this week so I went on like a 1:22 rant on hat stickers.. Pretty dumb but it’s true.