Here’s how it goes. I send an interview e-mail, they reply, I reply, they reply, pencil’s down.
John Pridmore is a Pittsburgh based comic who has performed all over the original 13 colonies. He’s opened for Dan Boulger, Sean Quinn, Nikki Glaser, and T.J. Miller. He runs the comedy open mic tuesdays at the smiling moose in the Southside in Pittsburgh.
RONALD RENWICK: Let’s hit this out of the gate. Did comedy turn you openly gay?
JOHN PRIDMORE: No, being openly gay turned me into a comic.
RENWICK: Which is better?
PRIDMORE: Doesn’t matter. Either way I’m getting fucked in the ass.
RENWICK: What is your scratch off ticket strategy?
PRIDMORE: Scratch a ticket..become a millionaire
RENWICK: Does your family care you’re… well…. a comedian?
PRIDMORE: They don’t approve of the lifestyle
RENWICK: Are they unaware that you could also be polish?
PRIDMORE: I am Polish. Most of my family knows. There are a few who don’t but that’s because they’re Polish
RENWICK: Tied, bottom 9, 2 outs, and there’s full count; are you swinging for contact or the fence?
PRIDMORE: Are you asking if I’m a bottom?
RENWICK: Well are/will you?
PRIDMORE: I do what I need to do but I prefer to be on top.
RENWICK: Jesus wrote the Catcher in the Rye, who wrote the bible?
PRIDMORE: Erma Bombeck
RENWICK: Wow, I she’s so old I had to Google her to see who she was. Do you believe in either of them?
PRIDMORE: I believe in Erma Bombeck.
RENWICK: Does this picture of me do anything for ya?
PRIDMORE: It makes me wonder why you’re wearing three shirts.
RENWICK: I’m actually only wearing one shirt. It’s a stripe on my shorts. How about this one?
PRIDMORE: Nudity please!
RENWICK: If it’s always sunny in Philadelphia what is it in Pittsburgh?
RENWICK: When do you think it will open?
PRIDMORE: At 6:00 a.m.
RENWICK: What’s your favorite car?
PRIDMORE: You know I’m gay, right?
RENWICK: You’re gay?
PRIDMORE: Only for you, baby. Mwah.
RENWICK: Ever been in a fist fight?
PRIDMORE: Yes. I’m tougher than I look.
RENWICK: What’s your record?
PRIDMORE: The last real fight I got into was in 8th grade. He gave me a bloody nose and I gave him a black eye. Also, I broke my hand punching my best friend in the face.
RENWICK: You often look frail. Maybe you should eat some vegetables.
PRIDMORE: I eat lots of veggies. I’m just fragile.
RENWICK: Do lesbians use double headed toothbrushes?
PRIDMORE: I don’t understand the question.
RENWICK: They use double headed dildos. I was just wondering if you could shed some light on other facets of their lives.
PRIDMORE: Don’t get me started on the lesbians. Gawd!
RENWICK: What’s the most annoying kind of co-worker?
PRIDMORE: The kind that keeps his job when I lose mine.
RENWICK: You have the most uncanny attire for a man of your stature. Why is that?
PRIDMORE: I wear what I want because (at least in that respect) I just don’t give a fuck.
RENWICK: What’s your favorite thing to do on stage?
PRIDMORE: Frontal nudity.
RENWICK: Damn, I must have missed that show. Will there be another?
PRIDMORE: Trying to put together a show at a nudist colony. Want to be on it?
RENWICK: You see me from across the bar, what’s your pick up line?
PRIDMORE: Want this in your mouth?
RENWICK: Why yes are you offering me a beer?
PRIDMORE: Hot Toddy
RENWICK: Shortcuts or the long way?
PRIDMORE: Long way
RENWICK: Would you consider this interview the long way?
PRIDMORE: No, I would consider this the incredibly tedious and annoying route. Can we be done talking now..forever.
THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!!
As you can see John is a loveable guy who wants my cock. You can usually find him lingering around The Smiling Moose hosting the comedy themed open mic every Tuesday at 10:00. He’s on facebook and twitter @johnpridmore. His latest tweets spark controversy with Roseanne Barr. Good Shit.