I know what you’re thinking. Damn Ronald, you look good in those jeans. Problem is it’s not me and they’re not my jeans. These are America’s jeans. No, I did not Photoshop this picture. Yes, her hips look like she’s carrying big bags of change. Yes, I could see fat dimples through these jeans.
It’s great to have self confidence but maybe that’s America’s problem. We don’t shit on anyone anymore because we’re too worried about how someone feels. As a comedian no one cares how I feel after a joke doesn’t work and no one laughs. And that utter silence reminds me that something needs to change. I’m fat. There has been an utter silence about my love handrails too, but that’s not helping me. There needs to be a voice.
I went to the doctors about 2 weeks ago. It was an interesting visit. It was the first time I had a woman as a family doctor and the first time I turned a good looking woman down who wanted to feel my balls. It was also someone besides my friends told me I was a fatty. How could I deny it? I suspected I was getting fat when I gained 30 pounds and I caught myself doing boob check (you know when you squeeze you’re boobs together to see your cleavage). I was in denial and Dr. Sexy-groper made me see the light.
I have since lost no weight but I have started running, so maybe I will eventually. My point is; someone shit on me. Someone knocked me down a peg. It may have been someone that wanted to touch my balls and I didn’t let, but she let me know that I was over confident and I need to lose some weight to build that confidence back up. Not go eat the closest Fudge Round.
As I am trying to lose 30 pounds, I challenge you America. Go take a look in the mirror and what do you see? What are you going to grab? You’re running shoes or a Fudge Round?